Real Happy

Have you ever thought about what makes you happy? Have you ever thought about where your joy comes from?

Is it your Lord?  Is it your children, love interest, family, friend, or all the above?  A multi combination of who, what, when, and where.  Maybe it’s the universe or maybe it’s the earth.  Wherever your “real happy” comes from, you know it sometimes, a lot of sometimes, takes a lot of work. 

Yes, there are days you just can’t get out of bed and sleep is the only desire you have.  The day becomes night and the night becomes day.  You missed out on life and life missed out on you.  It’s a weight of another kind of unknown power that will not allow you to show your presence anywhere. 

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What actually happened?  You just can’t explain!  Could it be that yesterday beat you down so bad that it sucked the breath right out of you?  You were doing so well with your progress to find “real happy” but it took those hateful, abusive, heart crushing words to push you two steps back.  The people around that never hurt you just don’t understand why you lock them out.  This hurt was there before your husband or kids came along.  It comes from years of hearing “those words”, the yelling, the threats, and the many times your heart was stomped on that steals your “real happy”. 

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Why is it that it didn’t affect you so many times before but now, now it just sneaks up on you and won’t go away?  You know it’s that one person, thing, demon that gets you every time!  It shows up or calls you just to cuss you out or threaten to “straighten” you out with violence.   It’s, “Do as I say or else!”  You know what actually takes away your “real happy”.  Oh, you know alright so you avoid it, them, or you lock them out of your head but somehow it, “them” finds you and pounds on your heart like the many, many times before! 

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Yes, you know you will recover because you must…you must…you always do!  Whether you do it for those around you that can’t understand or you do it for you…you must.  Your “real happy” will peek out again and again if you keep pulling from your God, Universe, family, or friends.  You know you must!

So you lay there in the darkness and silence.  Maybe you pray.  Maybe you listen to music. Maybe you just sleep cause let’s face it…sleep shuts off “those words” that repeat over and over in your head.  You want to explain but can’t, you tried, but just can’t explain why today you can’t get out of bed and struggle for your “real happy”! Yet, you know you will, maybe not today but maybe tomorrow. You have strong caring people around you, a husband, a son, a daughter, and a best friend that will not leave your side until you are “you” again!

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